Where Have I Been?

If I say I have been good that will be an absolute LIE. 2021 came out of nowhere and challenged me to really grow up and rethink how I was doing life. I take my usual breaks in between seasons, but this time I almost did not come back. See I lost my dad in August of 2021. This was sudden and totally furthest from my mind. I felt empty, lost, and unsure. I was angry and hurt for so many reasons. I also felt relief. See I lost my mom in October 2014. That gutted me because it came out of nowhere as well. She was not sick at all and I lost her, my true love my heart. So now I have no one. The relief came because I know deep down that my mother would not have been able to take my dad passing first. I know that she would have felt abandoned and lost. She would have felt like she was going to be a burden to us, the kids. Now let me tell you this, that would never be the case. We are the type of kids that takes care of our family so she would not have that worry, but she lived in a place of worry always and I understand that now more than ever. So yes 2021 kicked my ass yet brought on a super strength I cannot explain.